The way we grieve our losses is impacted by many factors including: our own unique coping style, , our history of previous losses, our support systems and, the way we view the loss. The way we grieve is also impacted by the kind of loss we have had, in other words who died and what is the nature of your relationship with that person.
There are some common aspects to each different kind of loss. The death of my mother affects me differently than the death of your mother affects you, because we are different people. But we have some similarities in common: we might both feel like orphans, particularly if we have no other parent. Or maybe we are both struggling with difficult relationships with our siblings, now that our parent has died.
It can be helpful to look at different kinds of losses and see some of their commonalities. This helps us normalize our experience and helps us better understand what we are going through.
Have you lost your Spouse or Partner ?
You might find yourself thinking “How will I ever learn to live without them?” , “I lost my best friend!” “Now I have to do everything myself”, “I feel so alone”.
The loss of a partner or spouse impacts so many aspects of one’s daily life. Grievers are reminded of their beloved every day and feel the missing in so many ways. Often the very person who has been the central support in one’s life through the most difficult times is not there to provide support in this greatest time of need.
Part of the work of grief ,when you have lost a partner , is the redefining of oneself. “I am no longer who I was, but I don’t know yet, who I am becoming”.